Can you help me with this song?

What do you think of my lyrics?





Song Title: It's you again





Last week, I saw you with her


You looked so happy,


I felt so more than sure


that it was over


with me and you





(Hook)


it happened so fast, what could I've done,


the chance I had was none, then you showed up at my door,


I don't want you anymore.





(Chorus)


Doorbell rings, when I answer it, you are there


Your at the door again.


Wind chimes blowing, outside it's snowing,


Candy and flowers in your hand.


It's you again.





I was at the store on Friday afternoon,


I saw you there, thought it was to soon,


Talking 'bout the mistakes we made,


we got together too late





(Chorus)





(Bridge)


It’s not about how long it takes


It’s not about why we broke up


We just need to remember


The good times we had and we’ll


Be together.


If the shoe fits


We’ll never miss.





Doorbell rings when I answer it, you are there


Your at the door again.


Wind chimes blowing, outside it's snowing,


Candy and flowers in your hand.


It's you a…


Doorbell rings when I answer it, you are there


Your at the door again.


Wind chimes blowing, outside it's snowing,


Candy and flowers in your hand.


It's you again


Again


Again


Again


It’s you again. Oh ooh oh…





Maybe Lovin' you still....

Can you help me with this song?
Just some venting of the mind if you just did it out of randomness. Besides, modern rock bands already have this type of song style saturated.





As a songwriter myself I can tell you this song will be good for you in the short term but don't expect it to get on MTV anytime soon. Everyone writes songs like this at some point but they never really make it into their cherished libraries of really good songs they made.





But while you're on the topic of breaking up in songwriting, I'd say continue on with it but just go through a full relationship in the song. It could (and probably will) make for a better song. You can include things about a breakup in the song but don't dwell on it. And don't focus on the datee too much either.
Reply:cool...........
Reply:its gd but here is a tip u may not wanna post ur stuf online cause anyone can steal it an take it as their own and then ur screwed ya know what i mean i write poems but i refuse to put my stuff online bc i work hard to write them
Reply:I give it 3/5 :)


not bad
Reply:That is a very good song. Wish I could write as good as that.
Reply:i loved it!!! your a great songwriter
Reply:Wow! That was cool!!!!!!!!





I love to write songs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





TTYL


ME!!!!!!!!
Reply:it is pretty good but no