Husband wants to do a Vow renewal? Please help!?

My husband hated our wedding and I can't say that I blame him- everything was a disaster from the pictures, to my dress about falling completely off, hair and makeup hideous, to the cake falling, to no flowers, to getting snowed out of original local and having to relocate to a way too small church, to no honeymoon, and about a thousand other things. He told me that he wants to go to Guam on our 5th anniversary to do a vow renewal (he was stationed there and wanted to get married there), which is next year. I think that the idea is kinda lame, and told him so - I mean, we're already married, it's over and done with. He says that he just wants some decent memories and pictures, and the memory of me looking half way decent and my dress not falling off and he feels bad becase he never proposed to me or gave me an engagement ring or wedding ring, and wants to do it all over again and make things right. I guess I just see it as what's the point, we're already married. What to say/do?

Husband wants to do a Vow renewal? Please help!?
For most men, the wedding isn't a big deal...it obviously is for your husband, so why not throw a party again? It isn't like you're getting re-married...its just a day to celebrate your first 5 years of marriage and to renew your vows...while wearing your gown and a suit/tux and throwing a big party for friends and families...I think its great!
Reply:Go for it. My husband and I are doing one next year and our reasons are kinda like your husbands. We did the supersmall wedding for financial reasons. So he thought it would be romantic to get married on Valentine's day instead of in April as originally planned. I had the flu so I was awake long enough to get married and and do dinner. We went home immediately after and I got in the bed. He woke me up at like 9 o'clock so I could watch a Charlie Brown Valentine. We trashed the wedding pictures because he looked frozen and I looked stoned. So we decided to do it over so we will have good memories and good pictures of our wedding. We were originally married in VA we're doing it over in Jamaica. Most men don't think it's worth it, count yourself lucky that your man like mine wants to get it right.
Reply:I think that, deep down, his intentions are good. I think good men take pride in doing the right thing for their woman, and they don't want their woman to have regrets 20 years down the road if there was a way to "fix" things now. Outside of the fact that you're already married, are there other issues going on? What would you like to do differently to celebrate your 5th?
Reply:A vow renewal isn't "another wedding" - it's a simple ceremony at a church or another location, then you just have a little party, like an anniversary party. Usually it's done at the 25th anniversary, some recently have been getting it done on the 10th.


You are right, you are married, and the wedding was what it was...
Reply:Yes, you are married, but do it! He just wants a special day with you to make-up for the bad day the two of you had. Also, once you start having children you wont be able to do the romantic things as easily, so go for it!


Keep it just the two of you and simple and romantic and I can guarantee you will be glad you did!!
Reply:If you just can't get yourself to go along with this one, try a compromise. Throw a wedding reception/5th anniversary party to help erase the memories of the bad wedding ceremony and take a "honeymoon" that includes Guam. Your reasoning? "Honey, I want our friends to have a redo also, how about a party?" Pictures of you hand in hand on the beach in Guam on your "Honeymoon" should help to salve his conscience.
Reply:omg u married the sweetest guy for caring so much about those details. he wants u to know how special you are. you should totally do it my fiance doesnt even care about the details of the wedding as much as i do. i shows hes a good guy. do it!!!
Reply:He sounds like a doll. Move over, I'll go to Guam with him. How can you be so unemotional about a guy wanting to do this special thing for you? I'd cut off my right pinkie for such a great guy!
Reply:I say let him have his way. Obviously this has really been bothering him. What can it really hurt to take a great vacation. You always take pictures anyway...he just happens to want you in a white dress for these.





I understand not wanting to deal with making a big production like the first time but you can just do a nice simple ceremony in the jungle and make love all week....sounds like a damn good idea to me.





Don't think of it as a pointless vow renewal, just think of it as something to make your husband smile. I would do anything for that...thats love honey.
Reply:I think your husband sounds very sweet. What's it going to hurt to give in and give him what he wants? Be a nice wife and let him have his wedding...again.