Mature honest answers only please how would u feel/do if your fiance did this to u on valentines day?

I got him a nice card/gift.He said he "tryed" to get me flowers but the florist would not deliver because we had a bad snow storm(true but nothing like waiting till the last min) and no gift or card.Then we went to diner(my doing) . when the bill came he made no effort to take it so i said do u want me to put it on our "family c.c"(we have a joint one for house bills that we both put the same money in) and he said sure.So basicly we went "dutch".I will say he did get me a clock about 4 weeks later after his mom asked me what he got me and i told her nothing.

Mature honest answers only please how would u feel/do if your fiance did this to u on valentines day?
Valentine's Day is when society tells you to celebrate love or when people desperately try find someone so they don't feel lonely for their lack of love and just replace it with a meaningless date.


I'm engaged and I don't need another day to use to judge my fiance using dinner/flowers/chocolate.





But, if you want a mature, honest answer I'll tell you this. First, if you're looking for reassurance of your feelings, don't look for it online. I don't think our judgment on that ONE day of your relationship with this man is very valid. I don't know him. I don't know you. Look for other ways to fix this by talking to him and not strangers online. Tell him how that made you feel in a calm manner by telling him your feelings.
Reply:I would laugh.





My husband is the greatest guy in the world, but he's NEVER gotten me anything good for Valentine's day. Once, I even got two half-wilted carnations off a restaurant table!





Now, I buy myself something nice with his money, show him what he bought me, and thank him. It works out much better for both of us!





Some people just aren't holiday people. How does he treat you the rest of the year?
Reply:i would be hurt by this lack of compassion. if i were you i would not do anything special for him for a long time. it sounds like it was to much "effort " on his part. you should let him know how you feel.
Reply:sounds slack to me but om... why are you still upset about it in May? almost June?
Reply:I would be very hurt. And you need to tell him that you are hurt.


But be clear about the reason. It's not because he didn't get you anything. It because he showed so little effort.





My husband and I have an agreement on V-day. We each buy each other the cheapest most obnoxious thing we can find at the last minute. We have a contest on who can spend the least and get the most obnoxious thing (he wins every year!). We have had some good laughs about this. It works for us because we pretty much think V-day just sets people up for dissapointment.


If there is some particular way you would like to spend V-day, then let him know. Don't assume that he knows how you feel. Men are not mind readers and they DON'T take hints very well AT ALL! You need to be very direct with them. Your future marriage depends on this.


And HE needs to respect your feelings. Even if he thinks v-day is silly, if you think it's important, he needs to respect that for your sake.


If you're still upset about this in June, there are some underlying issues here that you really need to examine. It's not that serious of an offense that you should still be talking about it 4 months later.
Reply:I'd marry him in a heartbeat and then expect the same kind of thing the rest of our (short and painful) marriage.





Usually you get the best treatment during the courtship phase of the relationship. Oh Oh did I say that out loud.
Reply:i would be quite pissed. was he like this always or did it just start happening? if he was always like this then i dont think you can really get upset about it cause you can't change someone. and if you think you can than you have to get your head out of the clouds. now if he just started this then i would have to have a talk with him, find out if something is going on or does he just feel that that day is a waste of time, etc.


talk it over and figure out whats going on.


hope this helps.


good luck
Reply:Gifts and holidays mean different things to everyone. Personally, I like to celebrate whenever I can, and think gifts are a great way to show someone that you care. Other people think they're useless. Before you get married, talk to your fiance about the holidays you are going to celebrate and how you are going to do that. Come to a compromise. If you can't, then maybe he isn't the right one... is it about lack of generosity or he is just not a holiday person? Figure out what is important to you before you commit.





Good Luck!
Reply:I would reflect on this before marraige. If he does this sort of thing often, don't think for a minute that it will change...no way. So, get used to it b/c what you see is what you get.
Reply:There are men who dont do special occations too well but are otherwise very considerate and may give gifts for no reason whatsoever,if you are lucky your fiance is one of these men. Unfortunately, it doesnt really sound like it- are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who regards you so little? And do you really want to go to his mom each time you want action on his part?
Reply:Sounds like he's marrying your Mom.
Reply:I must admit, I would feel hurt. But I think it's important to remember some men just aren't the "romantic" type. If this is important to you, you need to have a serious heart to heart with him. However, if everything else is wonderful, you should pick your battles and accept that your man may not be the best with gift-giving holidays. Either way, let him know that you're still hurt over V-day and maybe it will make way to more changes.
Reply:What is wrong with this picture. First of all, to get joy out of anything it has to be something you enjoy doing.





You gave him a card, I assume you wanted too not expecting anything in return. It appears he is being force to response not because he wants to but because he has to. This is not good.





It also appears that you two are living together before you are married, this is not good. These arrangement have the highest divorce rate.





When the bill came you should have done nothing and waited to see what he was going to do. In other words I would have waited on instruction regarding this matter. In a joint bill he could have done the same thing.





It was your suggestion to go to dinner. You are moving out ahead of him. You need to pull back and be the woman, understanding your role and allowing him to do his. You have to be careful that you have not set the pattern for this type of behavior to continue.





How would I feel. Because I am doing what I wanted to do, I would feel nothing, but if you were looking for a gift in return, you should have ask him what he was going to get you.





Examine your motive.
Reply:I would be pretty mad. Of course you would expect something from your fiance on Valentines Day. Even if its just a card or paying for dinner.
Reply:okay this guy seems no appreciativeness for you watsoever!! u need to tell him how u feel...personally i don't think he's worth it....true fine things aren't everything but cmon he couldn't say babe i love you thank you for everything happy valentines day...look...his mom even had to persuade him to get u a gift..."FOUR WEEKS LATER!"
Reply:Hmm....you need to discuss this with him. Maybe he just didn't realize. People show love in different ways. Maybe his "love language" isn't gifts, and so they don't register as being important to him. Sit him down and tell him you feel hurt


(understandably so) that he didn't romance you on Valentines Day. And tell him things like that are important to you. Tell him that's another way to feel loved by him and when he doesn't do that if hurts your feelings. Ask him what you do that makes him feel the most loved, maybe it's through quality time or acts of service or some other form other than gifts.

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